The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has issued a report stating that there are no such things as mermaids.
“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the NOAA said in a statement. (Is “aquatic humanoids” the politically correct term?)
This unusual release comes in response to the television show “Mermaids: The Body Found” on Animal Planet.
The show itself is a work of fiction, but confused viewers have apparently been questioning the NOAA to put the matter to rest.